Fast forward a few months, we needed to save up for another round of IVF. In the meantime, we also searched for a new fertility office to go to since our last experience with our previous doctor was less than ideal (I spared quite a few details because it makes my blood boil to talk about it... lol! I literally yelled at the receptionist over the phone, which I don't usually do, I'm usually fairly passive when I actually talk to people, in my mind I tell myself to be more assertive, but it doesn't usually happen. But not this time! lol!... sorry to that girl if she ever stumbles across this).
In February or March, we found a doctor in the nearest city to us! It's actually a satellite office with their main office about 2.5 hours away, but learned we'd only have to go there a few times, so we decided to look into more. Then we found out that they had open houses at their offices, so we signed up for one. We even got to speak with the doctor for 20 minutes for FREE. Free isn't a word that is ever associated with fertility stuff, like seriously ever. We were sold. The doctor and the staff were super awesome to us. The open house was in March, we started the next round in April.
I actually started the shots and such like 2 days before our half marathon...lol.
I was a little unsure about our dosages and such because it was exactly the same as with Sweet Girl and I had overstimulated with her and had to coast for a few days and didn't want to do that again. They told me it would be okay and to watch for signs of overstimulation... lol which are seriously the same side effects of the medications so it's hard to differentiate. But I felt fine, just a little bloated at times.
I'm not sure if it's because I was in shape or what, but my body went crazy! When we went in for the egg retrieval, he retrieved ONE HUNDRED AND FIVE follicles! 105... with Sweet Girl we had 11. 105 is seriously a record. The embryologist came in when we had our transfer and said, "I had to meet you! You are a record!" He also said before me, the highest he'd seen was like 80, but I blew that out of the water! Lol!
Unfortunately, that really isn't the best thing. I could have had a lot of complications, my ovary could have burst because the space where the follicles were could fill with fluid and rupture my ovary. Thankfully, that didn't happen. The nurses told me to constantly drink gatorade and water to help my body flush out the fluid. I got so sick of gatorade that it started to actually make me sick! But we made it through.
Also, because of this we had to wait a month while my body recovered before we did the transfer. So instead of doing a fresh cycle we started a frozen embryo cycle at the end of May through June. Which was kind of entertaining because we didn't tell our siblings that we were doing the IVF and we visited with my siblings a few times and my brother had to give me a shot. He and his wife asked a lot of questions trying to get me to tell them, but I gave super vague responses and kept it a secret and swore our parents to secrecy (one of my sisters did know because she lived in our town and watched Sweet Girl for us several times for appointments and such).
In the middle of June we had our embryo transfer, we ended up with 18 embryos. We transferred two embryos. This doctor does an ultrasound while he transfers them so we got to watch the whole thing, it was pretty awesome! I had to be on bed rest for three days, my parents came down and helped out during that time, which was super nice of them! My mom ended up staying for basically three weeks because I wasn't supposed to do any housework or lift anything for a long time. Thankfully it was the summer so she could stay so long! June 28th we had our first blood work, this doctor also calls after the each blood work to tell you the results. The number was 1750 or something like that! June 30th was the second one and the number 3050 or something close to that! I looked on the internet and it told us that high numbers can indicate multiples but an ultrasound is the most accurate way to know. We actually did a third blood test since the number didn't quite double like it should, and that next number was 15,000 or something crazy like that, so we knew it was okay!
The secret was killing us! But we wanted to wait until we knew for sure if it was one or two babies. We decided waiting until our family reunion was the perfect time because we would see both sides of the family on the way to and at the reunion. We actually didn't tell our parents that we were having the ultrasound so we could surprise them too, we told them it had to be after the reunion. We had a book to tell my side and a cross-stitch to tell my in-laws. Everyone was SHOCKED when we told them it was in fact TWINS! It was so fun to be able to surprise everyone!
In October we found out that two boys will be joining our family! We are so excited! And seriously both of us were completely surprised! I figured it was either two girls or one of each, but I thought there was NO way it was two boys! But these boys weren't shy about showing us that they are boys.. showing their faces was another story.. silly boys!
Sweet Girl is so excited about her brothers and loved seeing them on the tv screen they had the ultrasound machine connected to at the doctor's office. She loves "holding them" (holding their ultrasound pictures). We have the ultrasounds on the fridge and I bumped them the other day and she said, "Mommy! Be careful of my brothers!" It was adorable!
Heavenly Father knows what He's doing! I never understand the timing, but everything does truly work out for the best! I'm grateful for His plan for our lives! I am so grateful for the family He has blessed us with!
Showing posts with label Trust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Trust. Show all posts
Monday, October 24, 2016
Sunday, October 23, 2016
Infertility Chronicles: Chemical Pregnancy
One of the reasons I started this blog was to share our infertility journey with others, hoping it would help someone in some small way. Hopefully that has been the case, if anyone, it has helped me. It has helped me realize the good and learn from the trials that come our way.
However, any fertility journey is really personal and sometimes it is hard to realize what and what not to share. I've been in the conundrum for a while now. You, my dear reader, may be wondering how we could still be infertile if we have our Sweet Girl. To which, my dear reader, I would say, unfortunately I still have PCOS, having Sweet Girl didn't cure my body of that. I don't know if anything ever will, but thankfully we know how to grow our family. Each family is different, for us that recipe involves lots and lots of prayer and IVF.
My Sweet Husband I discussed when we should start to try to have more kids, by that I mean, when we should try our next IVF cycle. We had two frozen embryos from the cycle we did with Sweet Girl. As Sweet Girl's first birthday approached we decided we should try just after she was weaned. We met with the doctor's office to see exactly what we should do and they agreed, technically they said to wait for two cycles after she was weaned. So that's what we did.
In October 2015, we started the frozen embryo cycle (FEC). A FEC so much less involved then a fresh IVF cycle! Instead of growing the eggs and preparing the uterus, we only had to do the latter part. Which meant, fewer appointments, fewer ultrasounds, fewer medications, and especially fewer shots in the tush.
The entire time, I was sure it was going to work. I was sure that both embryos were going to take and we were going to have twins and everything was going to be hunky dory. Even after getting stuck in a city 45 minutes away for the night due to a mudslide in our town (they closed the highway so we couldn't get back), I was sure everything was going to be okay. The big day finally came, when they called with the HCG test results. And once again they didn't have one of my results (they didn't have the second draw this time for some reason), but they gave us a tentative positive since the first draw was positive. They said they would call the next day with the final results once they located them. I asked for the number from day one, sure that it was going to be huge like in the 1000s, and it was 12. I seriously almost asked, "are you sure?" But we were pregnant and that was good enough! It was okay! We went out to dinner to be optimistic that the results the next day would also be good news.
Only, they weren't. After about a billion phone calls and the nurse going to lunch, she told me that unfortunately the numbers were going down, the second draw was 6 (they should double or almost double). She told me to not give up hope, that we would do a third draw to make sure the numbers were correct. So we did. And it was 3. Definitely no longer pregnant. Later I learned this was a chemical pregnancy, which means a very early pregnancy loss.
I was so confused. I felt SO sure! But I relearned something that I think I will continually learn my entire life, apparently I'm kind of a slow learner, Heavenly Father has a plan for me and His timing is the best. I also gained an even better appreciation and love for my Sweet Husband! He was so loving and caring and supportive! And I gained a greater appreciation for Sweet Girl and realized again how much of a blessing she is in our lives! And I learned that everything was okay, it did work out as it was supposed it, even though it's confusing and I'm not sure why it went down that way exactly, but we were okay after, we felt peace!
However, any fertility journey is really personal and sometimes it is hard to realize what and what not to share. I've been in the conundrum for a while now. You, my dear reader, may be wondering how we could still be infertile if we have our Sweet Girl. To which, my dear reader, I would say, unfortunately I still have PCOS, having Sweet Girl didn't cure my body of that. I don't know if anything ever will, but thankfully we know how to grow our family. Each family is different, for us that recipe involves lots and lots of prayer and IVF.
My Sweet Husband I discussed when we should start to try to have more kids, by that I mean, when we should try our next IVF cycle. We had two frozen embryos from the cycle we did with Sweet Girl. As Sweet Girl's first birthday approached we decided we should try just after she was weaned. We met with the doctor's office to see exactly what we should do and they agreed, technically they said to wait for two cycles after she was weaned. So that's what we did.
In October 2015, we started the frozen embryo cycle (FEC). A FEC so much less involved then a fresh IVF cycle! Instead of growing the eggs and preparing the uterus, we only had to do the latter part. Which meant, fewer appointments, fewer ultrasounds, fewer medications, and especially fewer shots in the tush.
The entire time, I was sure it was going to work. I was sure that both embryos were going to take and we were going to have twins and everything was going to be hunky dory. Even after getting stuck in a city 45 minutes away for the night due to a mudslide in our town (they closed the highway so we couldn't get back), I was sure everything was going to be okay. The big day finally came, when they called with the HCG test results. And once again they didn't have one of my results (they didn't have the second draw this time for some reason), but they gave us a tentative positive since the first draw was positive. They said they would call the next day with the final results once they located them. I asked for the number from day one, sure that it was going to be huge like in the 1000s, and it was 12. I seriously almost asked, "are you sure?" But we were pregnant and that was good enough! It was okay! We went out to dinner to be optimistic that the results the next day would also be good news.
Only, they weren't. After about a billion phone calls and the nurse going to lunch, she told me that unfortunately the numbers were going down, the second draw was 6 (they should double or almost double). She told me to not give up hope, that we would do a third draw to make sure the numbers were correct. So we did. And it was 3. Definitely no longer pregnant. Later I learned this was a chemical pregnancy, which means a very early pregnancy loss.
I was so confused. I felt SO sure! But I relearned something that I think I will continually learn my entire life, apparently I'm kind of a slow learner, Heavenly Father has a plan for me and His timing is the best. I also gained an even better appreciation and love for my Sweet Husband! He was so loving and caring and supportive! And I gained a greater appreciation for Sweet Girl and realized again how much of a blessing she is in our lives! And I learned that everything was okay, it did work out as it was supposed it, even though it's confusing and I'm not sure why it went down that way exactly, but we were okay after, we felt peace!
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
so much love!
Update: Sadly, this adoption did not work out, the birth father chose to parent, for more info, see this post
We know everything will work out in the end how Heavenly Father wants it to! We just need to continue to trust in Him!
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Trust
This year one of my goals is to trust more.
Throughout life sometimes it gets difficult to trust that everything will work out the way that we want it to.
And to be honest, sometimes life does not work out the way we want it to.
BUT it always works out for the best.
Especially when we trust in our Father in Heaven and our Savior.
They know what is best for us,
They know what trials we need to become more like Them,
They know our limits,
They know our hearts.
If we trust in Them everything ALWAYS works out in the end.
I know this to be true, but sometimes I start to doubt,
to think that our dreams will never become a reality.
But I'm trying to always remember that I know that trusting my Heavenly Father and my Savior is best!
I know it is true,
yesterday we received wonderful news that my sweet husband's cousin and his wife became parents through the wonderful blessing of adoption!
We are SO SO happy for them and know that they will be amazing parents!
They are a great example to me of trusting in our Father in Heaven!
PS I made this sign for my nightstand so every morning I am reminded of my goal.
I love how it turned out because the word trust is kind of hard to see,
I thought about using a different color paper after I cut it out,
but then the symbolism hit me.
To me trust and faith are very similar,
and we know with faith that we hope for things which are not seen which are true.
I need to trust that even though I can't see when my sweet husband and I will become parents,
it will happen,
we just have to Trust in our Father in Heaven.
I know the same is true for all.
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