Hope

Thursday through Saturday of Memorial Day weekend

I was having a really hard time.

I almost cried at work...

it was an ending to an era.

We've decided to take a break from fertility treatments.

As hard and emotionally draining it is to do the fertility treatments 

I didn't think it would be hard to take a break,

but it really is.

I've learned a lot about myself and about my sweet husband through this journey.

And this journey is definitely not over.

I'm not entirely sure what the plan is for the rest of our lives,

but for now we're taking a break.

Who knows, in a year or so we may try fertility treatments again.

I think those days were a mourning period that I really needed

because I experienced what this scripture describes:

Psalms 30:5, "weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning."

Sometimes weeping endures for many nights,

and sometimes it may feel like Heavenly Father does not hear your prayers,

but I relearned that He does!

After crying and mourning for three days (actually more like 3 years),

I woke up on Sunday with Hope!

As I read my scriptures and a conference talk I was filled with joy, peace, comfort, and love.

I KNEW that Heavenly Father was aware of me and that He knows what is best for us right now.

He always does,

I just don't understand what He sees sometimes.

The hope and peace we've found is through adoption.
Ever since I was younger I've had a soft spot in my heart for adoption.
I think Heavenly Father prepares us for things that are going to happen in our lives.
I've also had a soft spot in my heart for people with infertility,
even before I was married and struggling with it myself.

Back to what I was saying, we've decided to adopt.
We both feel strongly that adoption is the way to expand our family at this point in our life.
We met with our caseworker a couple months ago if you remember,
so that counted as our initial interview,
then we filled out the paperwork she gave us then and sent it in.
Then last Friday we met with her again and had our individual interviews.
They went well, but some the questions totally caught me off guard!
I hope she took into account shock factor because I know I gave her weird looks,
but then so did my sweet husband because she told him,
"Your wife gave me the same look when I asked her that question."
Now we are working on the mountain of paperwork we have to fill out.
We've set up our medical checks and our appointments to get our fingerprints!
So we're on our way!

Don't worry, I'll keep you updated!