Being Genuine

This Mormon Message really hit home with me. It made me think about something I've been thinking about a lot lately.

Am I genuine?

Do I do things for the right reason?

Am I denying myself blessings by doing things grudgingly?

Should I "put on a grin and bear it" or is that kind of lying to myself?

I'm not sure I can answer all of those questions.

Watching this Mormon Message made me realize something, when we "put on a grin and bear it" our hearts begin to change. President Boyd K. Packer said, "The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior." The doctrines of the gospel teach us to love one another and to serve our fellow men, to be more Christlike (among other things).

When we put on that grin we may be acting, but then after a while our hearts can change and we are no longer acting, we are grinning because we actually are enjoying ourselves. 

Just like the man in the video. He started out doing it because we felt obligated, 
but then he realized that he had the wrong attitude.
He stepped back,
he re-evaluated his priorities,
he changed his heart,
and he came to love serving the woman with MS.

I believe this pattern can help us change our hearts with anything in our lives that we struggle with.

I have an example from my life.

I know a person,

I had a really hard time liking this person.

In fact, I had a hard time talking to this person

because every conversation ended with me either frustrated, crying, or annoyed.

But then I realized I was being ridiculous.

I was judging this person because of things that had happened a long time ago.

I decided to let those things go.

I realized this person was generally nice to me,

I was the one being rude.

I took a step back,

I changed my heart (it took a long time),

and now I enjoy spending time with this person.

Maybe you have someone in your life that you need to forgive or that you have a hard time with, maybe this can help you. Maybe you have a church calling that is difficult and you don't feel like giving it the time and energy it deserves (or maybe that is just me). Maybe you are experiencing a trial and you don't know how to overcome it. Maybe you are just struggling with yourself. Whatever your case may be, I think when we take a step back and try to approach it at a different angle we can learn something, we can improve.

I've been reading/listening to the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking, it is our book club book this month (technically I chose it, but someone suggested it about a year ago and we didn't end up reading it but it seemed really interesting, so it was my turn to choose, so I chose it). I'm still not quite sure whether I'm an extrovert or an introvert, I think I have a bit of both, but it has been really interesting to read because it has made me realize how I can improve when interacting with certain people. The book talks about recognizing the differences in people and not seeing them as a bad thing, but rather using those differences to help us grow and learn from one another. So rather than letting someone or something bother us, we can learn from other people's strengths and people can learn from our strengths. 

Learning and thinking about these things has really contributed to my genuine puzzle. Another piece to my puzzle is the talk by President Dieter F. Uchdorf, "On Being Genuine."It's super good, I definitely recommend it! One of my favorite examples he gives is about the Potemkin Villages in the 18th century. To summarize, Catherine the Great of Russia was going to visit these villages, the governor wanted impress her so he put these fake pasteboard facades of shops and buildings with happy, hard working people all along the river that Catherine was floating down. These fake facades were covering the rundown shops and poor and desolate people that actually lived in the village. Since then "Potemkin Villages" is a term that refers to when we are trying to look better than we actually are. President Uchdorf talks about different aspects in our lives when we try to look better than we are: our personal life, our church callings, etc. Then he asks us "Why we do the things we do?" Sometimes we do the things we do because we want to appear better than we are, but sometimes we also do the things we do because we want to. Either way, President Uchdorf tells us, "the good news is that you can build on whatever strength you have."

I think that answers my question!

Even if we start doing something because we supposed to or because we feel obligated or whatever the case may be, I think we get some credit for actually doing it. The doing it is strength, if we build on that strength and start doing because we want to not just because we have to, that shows we are improving! We are on our way to genuinely doing it for the right reasons. 

So I don't think we are lying to ourselves by putting on a grin and bearing it,

I think we are allowing ourselves to build on the strength we have.

As we build on the strength our hearts change,

as our hearts change we become genuine in our efforts,

and we do the things we do for the right reasons.

PS I hope that all made sense, if not, it helped me to work it out..

but I hope that maybe it helped someone else too.
PPS I am in no way perfect at this, I am still learning. For my one example I have about a billion others where I need to improve. But that's the great thing, every day we get to try again!